I'm addic-I'm addicted to you
by Toomuchloveforthisworld
Summary: Castiel makes an ass of himself while in a jealous rage. How will he make it up to Dean? Destiel.


_**Seriously, you need to listen to Simple Plan's Addicted. Try it before you read :)**_

_**Enjoy**_

"_I heard you're doing okay. But I want you to know, I'm addic- I'm addicted to you_" came his voice through the tiny amps that they'd scrounged up from Gabriel's girlfriend. They hadn't bought any for themselves yet.

Sam played drums behind him, like he's always wanted. Ever since he'd had the idea to start a band, Sam has begged to join.

And when all of this was over, Sam was going to have a permanent position in Black Wings (they're still working on the name).

Gabriel was next to him on the bass. Along with Jo on the other side doing backup vocals while strumming her own guitar. They all played as a unit on the sidewalk.

Their band hadn't been more than a dream when the 'incident' occurred and forced his hand. He need a gesture. A large gesture.

"_I can't pretend I don't care, When you don't think about me. Do you think I deserve this_?"

So maybe he did deserve this. He was the one who had gotten shit-tacularly drunk. He'd called his best friend, while drunk. And told him everything he never meant to say. All of the things that his jealously had ever whispered into his ear. Its breath hot and acrid against his body, being absorbed through his very skin until he vibrated with the feeling.

It was only recently that he'd even come to grips with the fact that he was in love with his best friend. His openly gay best friend.

He'd never known love before.

Not before Dean.

"_I tried to make you happy but you left anyway. I'm trying to forget that, I'm addicted to you, But I want it and I need it, I'm addicted to you_"

Cas has always had abandonment issues. His father ran away when he was three and his mother hit the bottle hard in retaliation. Gone for days at a time on benders.

Dean was his best friend ever since they'd meet in the park one afternoon shortly after his father left. And that's when Mary had begun bringing him home.

The only constant he'd ever known were the Winchesters. They would take him in when his mother failed to pick him up from school and consequently their house. Leaving him there until Naomi was lucid enough to make a scene that her "kid wasn't where he was supposed to be".

And that's the way it was for years. Until now. Now Dean has found a new friend. Someone who he hangs out with more often. Leaving Castiel behind.

Forgotten.

Abandoned.

Castiel has problems with being abandoned. In unconscious retaliation he lashed out in ways he never meant to.

"Now it's over. Can't forget what you said. And I never wanna do this again"

He never wanted to ever see the look on Dean's face that came the day after his phone call. The devastation and betrayal that visibly marked his features.

Castiel had tried to apologize, to explain what had happened, but then Benny had shown up. The native southerner had the nerve to ask if Cas was "bothering" Dean.

Cas!

Bothering Dean!

It was laughable. But Castiel hadn't laughed. He saw red instead. And when Benny's arm snaked around Dean's shoulders like a python slowly claiming it's kill. And Cas went crazy.

Cas had once again spoken out of hatred and jealousy. Once more vividly hurting his best friend. The only guy that he has ever felt love for.

That's when Dean slapped Cas across the face. The moment he said the words, "I don't ever want to see you again"

"_Heartbreaker_" his voice wavered for a moment at the memory.

"_Heartbreaker_" he repeated, torment in his voice, remembering the way that he'd felt at those words coming from Dean's beautiful mouth. The one he'd dreamed about for months.

"_Heartbreaker_" he sang remembering the way his heart had honestly broken in his chest. That feeling cloned in him as he vibrates with it even now.

"_Since the day I met you, And after all we've been through, still addic-  
I'm addicted to you_"

"I like your bee," a short brown haired boy said. His green eyes staring jealously down at the stuffed bee that Cas' dad gave him before he left.

For six months Cas has kept the bee with him through all of the sleepless nights when he prayed to God that he'd bring his father home.

The green eyed boy sat down next to Cas on the red metal of the junglegym. Two sets of four year old legs swung back and forth as they dangled through the yellow bars.

"My name is Dean," the boy said next.

Castiel looked from his bee to the boy next to him. "I'm Castiel. And this is Chuck. He likes honey," he said moving the bee back and forth in his hands playfully.

Dean laughed softly at that. "My mom likes honey, too. Want to be friends Cas?"

Castiel smiled, "Yes"

"_I think you know that it's true. I'd run a thousand miles to get you. Do you think I deserve this? I tried to make you happy, I did all that I could, Just to keep you, But you left anyway_"

The beautiful vision of Dean finally appeared at his bedroom window as a crowd of strangers and neighbors descended from their homes to see the ruckus.

Mary and John Winchester likewise emerged from their home to watch their pseudo son serenade their real one.

Castiel's voice dropped low while the tempo slowed for the next verse. In his most earnest voice he sang.

"_How long will I be waiting? Until the end of time. I don't know why I'm still waiting, I can't make you mine_"

His head hung for a moment. The band behind him picked up speed once again.

John and Mary tore their eyes away from the sight to share a sad look before focusing their attention to their eldest son watching intently from his window.

"_I'm trying to forget that, I'm addicted to you. But I want it and I need it_"

Strong arms hold Cas as he sobs at his father's grave stone. The rain pours down on them as he does so. Gentle hands run down his hair to his back, soothing the ache inside. Making him feel loved.

A deep voice rumbles through his core whispering in his ear as strong arms hold him down after a lost wrestling match.

Green eyes smile across the table from him as pink lips grin wide. "Full house," escapes their home.

Hands worry themselves together. Fidgeting as Dean worries his lip between his teeth, "Cas...I think I'm gay"

Love radiates through every fiber of his being as he watches Dean meticulously pick the perfect flower for his mother's birthday.

"_I'm addicted to you_" Sam, Jo, and Gabriel all sing in background vocals as Dean disappeared from his window view.

"_Heartbreaker_" Castiel sang out with feeling as he mourned the loss of the only audience he's ever wanted.

"_I'm addicted to you_" the background vocals rang through as Dean reappeared running to the front door.

"_Heartbreaker_" Castiel belted watching Dean come to a halt in his front doorway.

The same front doorway that Castiel fantasized kissing his best friend in his deepest dreams.

"_I'm addicted to you_" rang out behind him while he forced breath into his lungs for the big finale.

"_Heartbreaker_" he sang softly as the music faded out and deep green eyes filled the entirety of his field of vision.

Dean's hand came up hesitantly to rest on Cas' neck. Castiel kept his eyes glued to Dean's brilliant ones as the other boy's hand guided his head closer.

"I'm addicted to you, too, heartbreaker," was ghosted across his lips before they merged perfectly with the other half of his soul.

_**Did you like it?**_


End file.
